You know, sometimes I have to be bold and brave when I post pictures of my body. Even though I smile in pictures and I'm mostly able to confidently pose for outfit shots, inside I'm still quite insecure. While it's a choice to post picture of myself when I could just post product pictures, I feel that reviews are more thorough when it's seen in use. It's helpful and can be encouraging for those with similar body types, heights, and skin types/tones. That's what I try to do, offer myself as an example for those like me or have similar interests as me. Though doing this takes a lot of energy and time.
Every day I'm in constant battle with myself, loving me and hating me. I recently read some text posts I made about three or more years ago and I was astonished of how little progress I made mentally. They were words of tiring hatred towards myself and questions of when will it end and if I would ever truly learn how to love myself. To this day, I'm still like this. Some days I'm nearly at tears from how frustrated I am of how little I can like myself.
I can say that at the very least I do like myself enough to keep trying, to better myself. I can say this because I love people and if I can love others, I can love myself. That's my hope, as many of us struggle with accepting ourselves while facing our insecurities and fears.
I guess I wanted to get this out because this has been progressingly getting worse, on and off, but stronger and stronger for the past few months. Aside low self esteem, there are other issues I deal with that don't help. As a private person, I don't normally speak of myself or my life personally but I've never hidden the fact that I have an eating disorder, body dysmorphia, depression, and anxiety. This is still my blog after all and I like being honest about myself with all of you. I enjoy what I share with you but at times I also like to share parts of me like this because it's a reminder that not everything looks calm on the surface. Most people are like that, of course.
Venting and admittance has that weird relief, but it's scary sometimes. You let yourself be vulnerable, open to opinion and judgment, and depending on who you open up to, your trust could be enforced or shattered. My thoughts alone give me enough stress, I'm already a hard judge on myself, and I think I'm a bother to most people and that my problems aren't big enough to address. Still, I'm posting this because I know someone else is struggling too. Getting worse or still in the middle of a dark time. We're both holding on together though.
You really can never tell what's going on in someone's mind or what kind of life someone is living by looking at them. Emotions are fleeting, expressing a reaction of that moment or period of time. The chemicals in our body can affect our moods and sleeping patterns. Stress can make you gain or lose weight, lose hair, dull skin, cause digestion problems. Every element of life can build and chip away at us. Our health can be affected just by sour feelings of sadness and anxiety. Hm.
I don't know where I'll end up regarding my relationship with myself, but I'm still here and I'm still fighting and that's what important but it truly is difficult to do when you feel like you don't matter. However, if I think other people's struggles are important, I have to think the same of me.
I don't know what my pace will be like on this blog but I'm hoping I'll post a bit more regularly soon. And as usual, I'm always open to talking if anyone needs someone who won't judge them and will be patient with them. I can't guarantee I'll always be there as I can be preoccupied with my life's ongoings but I definitely try when I can.
Here is one of the reviews I haven't been able to get to! Another package from the lovely people at SheInside.
I chose four items and I love all of the pieces but only one of them is still available on their site!
The one that's still there is the NEED M☹RE SLEEP tank/dress.
It's so wonderfully comfortable and cute that it's a favorite piece in my closet now. Since it's long on me I have to wear something underneath it and it ends about mid thigh or a bit lower on me. I like to wear this around the house and the words make me chuckle cause I normally need more sleep, hahaha. It's playful and lazy, but adorable.
Another new favorite and easy to laze in item is this dress! The fabric feels smooth on my skin and it's thin which is perfect for summer weather.
Next is this two layer skirt. The first layer is a bodycon skirt that ends past my mid thigh and the second layer is a long sheer fabric with a slit on the side. It closes up with a zipper and only came in one size. I decided to pin up one side so that the skirt had more dimension. It looked like a plain maxi skirt otherwise. It's a bit long for me and I definitely have to wear heels with it but I'm very happy with this piece!
Lastly was this shirt and as much as I enjoyed the design it was itchy around the areas where they had sewn the see through fabric. Either way it was still sold out so it was a good enough design that people were intrigued! However, it was unfortunate that I couldn't stand to wear it long enough. It makes me wonder if it was the same for others or if it was just mine.
These are my newest picks from SheInside, which I'll link each piece below. My friend and I were talking about how 90s fashion has been creeping in and I think the Beavis and Butthead shirt is a clear sign, hahaha! I'm definitely looking forward to this package, as I do with every one of them!
I've been having a bit of a rough time since last month and I'm moving to a new place next week, thus why there have been a lack of posts. There's just no energy or interest to keep up here right now, but worry not, I will return soon enough! Once we're more settled and I'm able to get myself together again, I'll continue blogging :]
For now, if you're interested in any new content from me, I post on my Instagram often of my outfits and new items! My Instagram name is AprilFoolRomance, and for those who don't have that app, you can visit instagram.com/aprilfoolromance.
Here are the outfits I've worn recently that I posted on IG.
The first picture on the left are my items from SheInside!
I decided to wear the skirt out last night and I LOVE it.
And just a reminder, you can use my coupon code "AFR19"
to purchase theSuper Booster Pen or the
That's it for now!
If you would like to keep in contact or talk once in awhile, send me a message on my Tumblr.
Miss all of you and thanks for your patience!
If you would like to keep in contact or talk once in awhile, send me a message on my Tumblr.
Miss all of you and thanks for your patience!
Summer is a time for light clothes and point accessories. A good way to accessorize is grabbing an awesome pair of sunglasses! Below are my favorites from Bleudame!
'Seeing Hearts' Round Metal Sunglasses
Mod Pointed 'Sara' Sunglasses
'Mia' Rounded Cat Eye Sunglasses | Slim Cat Eye 'Roxie' Sunglasses
Transparent Unisex Rounded Sunglasses | Oversized Mod 'Sparkle' Holographic Sunglasses
Authentic Vintage Pastel Clubmaster Sunglasses | 'Kourtney' Paint Splatter Cat Eye Sunglasses
I've purchased from them myself and they're quick and keep each pair safe from being damaged.
These are the ones I got! I've strongly considered getting them in prescription because I love them so much x]
If you saw anything you like or would want to see more,
click the banner below!
Your Eyes Lie contacted me awhile ago and I got to choose a couple clothing items from their site! I picked out the tiny blue dress and the black t-shirt dress, then they sent me a random shirt a long with it! The fabric is amazingly comfortable on each garment. They make me want to laze about but they still make me look like I'm dressed up to go :]
Out of all the items, I decided to wear the black t-shirt dress out immediately!
Ever since I dyed my hair back to black, I've been loving a darker look. I've been colorful and bright for awhile now so it's nice to do something a little different for myself.
And after all the serious faces and poses, here's a silly one, hahaha!
The look was very basic but it was so easy to put together and head out without feeling sloppy!
Dress: Your Eyes Lie
Shoes: GoJane, I think
Bracelets: Hot Topic
Backpack: Lost Mannequin
I decided to try something out of my comfort zone and accepted a couple teeth whitening pens from Whitening Lightning!
What stretched me for this review was actually smiling with teeth! It's one of my features that I'm most insecure about so doing this was a personal challenge but I'm very happy with the result and I must admit it has given me a bit more confidence to smile!
Below with my pink hair is the first day I started using the products and then with my black hair is after 2 weeks. There were a couple days I forgot to put it on but it still did a noticeable change within that time! My teeth are still a bit yellow but they're definitely lighter and brighter.
Whitening Lightning sent me two different teeth whitening pens. The one in the black package is the Super Booster Pen and the one in the white package is the ZERO White Whitening Pen. These are gluten free and cruelty free products made in the USA. The gel comes out through a soft brush by twisting the bottom of the pen.
Below are the instructions which are very simple!
Even after two weeks there is still plenty in both pens for me to continue using and I'll see just how white my teeth can get! I haven't used teeth whiteners for years and forgot how much I love the look. Especially since I don't like to show off my smile or look at it. Maybe this will help me in that area of insecurity. Who knows!
Now here's the awesome part for YOU!
If you're interested in either of these teeth whitening pens use my coupon code AFR19 to purchase the Super Booster Pen or the ZERO Pen from WhiteningLightning.com for $19.00USD!
I think that's a pretty awesome deal since the original price is $79.00!
If you do purchase one, let me know how it works for you and show off your smile!
Tags: whitening lightning
I've been such a bad blogger lately and I apologize! It's been a little rough for me lately and my motivation is zapped. Until I can get myself together again, my posts won't be as detailed. Though I may not return to the way I used to blog. I'm not sure yet.
For now, here is the latest box from GlossyBox.
They accidentally sent me two so I've got a few extra items to review!
1. Philip B. Light-Weight Deep Conditioning Creme Rinse
It's supposed to increase the hair's strength and elasticity. Some of the ingredients include African Shea Butter, Wheat Germ, and Soy Protein. After I shampooed and rinsed my hair, I put this into my hair and let it sit for about 3-5 minutes. When I washed it out, I was expecting my hair to feel soft and silky like with conditioner, but it truly is a conditioning creme. It felt like it coated it and that it's a product that concentrated on strengthening just as it says on the bottle. My hair did feel kind of thicker but the product didn't spread easy in my hair so I had to use a lot and preferred to use conditioner afterwards.
2. Philip B. pH Restorative Detangling Toning Mist
I was interested in this product since the ends of my hair tangles up.
The description says: This super lightweight toner adjust the pH of tap water allowing the cuticle of the hair to seal tightly leaving smooth, detangled, shiny, gorgeous finished, tone hair. With Apple Cider Vinegar as a natural astringent and pH balance, together with lightweight essential oils, Philip B pH Restorative Toning Mist detangles hair, reduces frizz and static, while enhancing shine, leaving your hair with a fresh, beautiful finish.
Sounds good, right? Well, I tried it once and only once. I couldn't get passed the smell and using once wasn't enough for me to see a difference. Unfortunately, I couldn't get myself to use it again because of the smell. It didn't linger when it dried, thankfully, but it was too strong as I've got a sensitive nose.
3. SpaRitual Favorites Nail Polish
The two colors I got were the Hijinks Shimmer and the Days of Wine And Roses Shimmer. The orange was a little translucent and needed a couple more coats while the burgundy was pretty dark and only needed two coats. I wasn't impressed by this product mostly because they're not colors I would pick for myself. Aside that, I feel like it's a good nail polish and it's vegan but I wouldn't buy these colors for $12 each.
4. tarte complexion enhancing lipstick
The description says: These creamy lipsticks have a glossy, tinted core that gives the appearance of fuller-looking, luscious lips. Thanks to complexion-enhancing pigments and emollient waves, lips have never appeared more youthful.
What I like about this lipstick is that it imitates the gradient lip look. The main color is in the center, concentrating on the inner parts of the lip with the nude color on the outside. It is creamy and I haven't experienced dryness with it. It applies nicely too. However, the nude is a bit light for my skin tone which is too bad because these are the only two colors they have. It's not very versatile as we all come in lots of different skin tones!
5. Oscar de la Renta Essentials Luxuries
There are six fragrances available in the bag. The second box I got had the same amount and the same exact scents. The names are Sargasso, Coralina, Oriental Lace, Santo Domingo, Granada, and Mi Corazon. I'm pretty awful at describing scents and with my nose being sensitive to smells, it would be difficult for me to do this, hahaha. They all smell very mature. They're not like bubblegum and cucumber kind of scents. They smell sophisticated.
6. c.Booth Honey Almond Nourishing Dry Oil Mist
This product sprays out like a mist so it will have more even coverage. It doesn't feel heavy or greasy and it smells incredibly yummy. I like to put it on right after lotioning my skin for that extra softness, but you can put it on at any time. It's free of parabens, sulfates, mineral oil, and petrolatum.
I'm really excited about the Oil Mist out of everything for this month's box. It was fun to try everything else out as a person who doesn't like to buy out of my comfort zone, haha. Subscribing with GlossyBox allows you to try new things without having to spend too much and sometimes there are items that I absolutely fall in love with and would even get full sizes of! So if you haven't tried GlossyBox yet maybe wait for a month where they have a box that you're really interested in, as they post the items on their site, and have your own fun experience of opening a GlossyBox and trying out all the products!
Thanks for reading my review and thank you to all the readers of this blog for your patience and understanding of my absence and lack of detail in my recent posts! Thank you for sticking around. I truly appreciate it! Hope all of you are doing well!